Every couple knows there are certain photographs they want from their wedding. The dress. The rings. Walking down the aisle. The first kiss. Cutting the cake. The first dance.
Those are the easy ones.
After photographing weddings for more than 35 years, I’ve learned that some of the photographs couples end up loving the most are the ones they never asked me to take.
Because while everyone is watching the bride and groom, I’m also watching everyone else.
The Moments Happening Behind You
Weddings are full of little moments that the bride and groom never see. Maybe Dad is standing off to the side watching his daughter dance. Maybe Grandma is laughing harder than anyone else in the room. Maybe the flower girl has decided she’s had enough of this wedding business and is asleep under a table. Or maybe two people who haven’t seen each other in years suddenly spot one another across the reception. Nobody thinks to put those photographs on a shot list.
But they’re part of the wedding, too. And sometimes they’re the photographs that mean the most later.
Not long ago, I photographed a wedding where the couple decided to have an anniversary dance.
I’ve photographed hundreds of these over the years. All the married couples start on the dance floor, and the DJ slowly eliminates them based on how long they’ve been married. Five years. Ten years. Twenty-five. Eventually, you’re left with the couple who has been married the longest.
Usually, when you get to the 50-year mark, there might be a couple or two still dancing. A few times, I’ve seen couples make it past 60. But at this wedding, something happened I’d never seen before.
Seventy years.
The last couple on the dance floor had been married for 70 years. They had married as teenagers, and now, in their 90s, they were still together—and still dancing.
The entire room realized what they were witnessing. People were cheering. People were crying. And when the dance ended, the couple shared a few words of wisdom with the newlyweds.
After photographing weddings this long, you’d think I’d seen just about everything. I hadn’t seen that. That’s one of those photographs you don’t plan—and you never forget.
Some of My Favorite Photographs Weren’t Planned
I’m certainly going to photograph the big moments. But wedding photography shouldn’t just be limited to a checklist.
One of the advantages of doing this for a long time is learning to watch what’s happening around the thing you’re supposed to be photographing.
If everyone suddenly looks in one direction, I’ll probably look the other way. If the bride is giving a toast, I’m watching the groom’s reaction. If Dad is dancing with his daughter, I’m photographing the dance—but I’m also looking for Mom watching from across the room.
The obvious photograph isn’t always the best photograph.
You Can’t Put Every Moment on a Shot List
I occasionally get very detailed wedding photography lists.
And there’s absolutely nothing wrong with telling your photographer about the photographs that are important to you. In fact, family group lists can be incredibly helpful.
But there’s a difference between making sure we don’t forget Grandma and trying to plan every photograph that will happen during an eight-hour wedding day.
You can’t. And I don’t think you should try. The best weddings have a little chaos in them.
People laugh when they’re not supposed to. Kids do weird things. Grooms cry. Brides laugh. Somebody’s tie ends up around their forehead by the end of the reception. That’s the good stuff.
The Photographs That Change With Time
There’s another reason I photograph these moments. Photographs change. Not literally, of course – but what they mean to us changes.
The photograph you love most when you’re 25 may not be the photograph that means the most when you’re 45. Someday, that simple photograph of your grandmother laughing at the reception may become priceless.
A photograph of your dad straightening your tie might suddenly mean more than the perfectly posed portrait you spent twenty minutes creating. We don’t always know which photographs will become the important ones.
So I take them.
At one wedding, the bride’s grandfather was wheeled in just before everything started.
The bride broke down in tears. She had been told he wasn’t going to make it to the ceremony.
She hugged him and kissed him and thanked him. The groom shook his hand, and her grandfather gave them his blessing.
I photographed the whole thing.
As soon as the wedding was over, he was taken back to the hospital.
You can’t put a moment like that on a shot list.
Behind the Lens with Brody Hall
My job on a wedding day isn’t simply to photograph the things on the schedule. It’s to pay attention. I’ll photograph the kiss, the rings, the cake and the first dance.
But I’ll also keep an eye on Dad. And Grandma. And the flower girl under the table.
Because sometimes the photograph you didn’t know you wanted becomes the photograph you’re most thankful someone took.
